One World, One Dream, 1.3 Billion Souvenirs

Lest anyone doubt my Olympic spirit, I present the image below:


I didn't get prescription lenses in these glasses, but the salesgirl assured me it could be done.

Extinguish the Four Dangers!

This evening I received the following text blast text message from the Beijing Patriotic Santiation Committee:

The Beijing Patriotic Sanitation Committee health reminder: June 20th will be a whole city "Extinguish the Four Dangers" activity. For everyone's health, we invite the whole city population to motivate and stand up together to eliminate the threat of bugs.

I have to admit, I was initially a bit confused.

First, I made the rookie Chinese mistake of translating a title literally. The Chinese short name of the Beijing Patriotic Sanitation Committee is Beijing City Love Sanitation Committee (北京市爱卫会). Not that loving sanitation isn't a great reason for having a committee, but it sounded a little funny. When I went to their web site, I realized the Love stood for Love-Country, i.e. patriotic. I've definitely got to get back to formal Chinese lessons - when I forget that one character always stands for two, it's been too long!

Then, I wondered what were the "Four Dangers" Beijing citizens are coming together for fight? The rest of the message sounded so upbeat, yet eliminating the four dangers sounds so ominous. I could certainly think of plenty of dangerous things in Beijing that could use wiping out. The four dangers of transportation come to mind: wild taxi drivers, wild motorbike riders, wild bus drivers, and arrogant black sedan drivers. I didn't think the patriotic sanitation committee would target the roads, though, and I hoped friendly blogging foreigners wasn't one of the dangers tagged for extinguishing.

It turns out the "Four Dangers" are actually the "Four Pests": rats, cockroaches, flies, and mosquitos - all quite worthy targets for patriotic elimination.

The term Four Pests has not always referred specifically on these four. For instance, in 1955, Mao Zedong named sparrows one of the four pests, on the basis that they were menacing peasants by eating seeds and crops. By 1959, researchers had concluded that banging pots and pans to frighten sparrows and destroying sparrow nests were not productive uses of peasant time (a locust explosion in the absence of their natural predator, the sparrow, was one clue), and the sparrow was replaced by "stinky insects" on the list, and stinky insects were later replaced by cockroaches.

During the SARS epidemic, officials harkened back to the Four Pests as they called for citizens to get rid of civet cats and other rodents, in addition to rats and cockroaches. A web site dedicated to extinguishing the four pests (www.miesihai.com) has articles describing how to fight invasion by several different types of creepy crawlers.

Now that I think of it, I really hope the cleaning staff in my office are participating in the extermination activity, as the cockroaches there are decidedly unpatriotic, yet numerous and apparently invincible. Here's to patriotic extermination.

Try Air Canada for Reasonably-Priced Flights to Beijing

It's pretty expensive to fly from the United States to Beijing or Shanghai, and as the Olympics approaches prices for all travel services are going through the roof.

Happily, I was able to find a round-trip ticket from Beijing to Newark for $830 including all fees & taxes, and a friend recently found round-trip tickets from Beijing to Portland for under $700.

So, if you're coming my way for a visit (hint, hint), you might want to give Air Canada a try: http://www.aircanada.com/en/us/home.html.

I have not heard fantastic things about Air Canada's service, but they do have individual in-seat audio-video units on all Economy seats on the 77W aircraft that fly from Toronto to Beijing. Also, since I am usually forced to fly United trans-pacific for work, I am sure it will be an improvement. After observing United flight attendants - and I'm talking during boarding, not at the end of the flight - I've decided United must prep them for travel the same way bulls are prepped to go into the ring at a bullfight. There is no other explanation for adult professional coming to work so angry and aggressive.

The People's Cheer

In the gamut of national cheers (Huzzah! Ole!) where does "two claps - thumbs up - two claps - fists up" fit in?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7438367.stm

BBC NEWS
Beijing approves Olympics 'cheer'

Beijing Olympic chiefs are introducing an official cheer for patriotic spectators to spur on Team China at the Games, Chinese media reports.

The authoritative, four-part Olympic cheer, accompanied by detailed instructions, will be promoted on TV, in schools and with a poster campaign.

It involves clapping twice, giving the thumbs-up, clapping twice more and then punching the air with both arms.

The cheer is accompanied by chants of "Olympics", "Let's go" and "China".

The Beijing Olympic Organising Committee has hired 30 cheering squads who will show spectators how it is done at Games stadia, reports Xinhua state media.

'Civilized cheering'

A committee official said the simple chants and gestures were designed to help spectators cheer for their favourite athletes in a smooth, civilized manner.

The Ministry of Education is also arranging special training sessions in schools for the 800,000 students who are expected to attend the Games.

Li Ning, president of the Beijing Etiquette Institute, told the Beijing News that the cheer was in line with general international principles for cheering, while at the same time possessing characteristics of Chinese culture.

There is so much to think about in this brief little article!

The Ministry of Education is going to teach the people how to cheer for the Olympics?

Beijing has an Etiquette Institute? I would like to know more about this institute, which must be either extremely busy or extremely beleaguered.

Moon Festival for Spring Breakers?

Today I received an email from a local travel agent advertising two-day trip for Dragon Boat Festival, a traditional holiday in southern China that has just been added to the list of official Chinese holidays, creating a 3-day weekend this June 7-9.

The story of Dragon Boat Festival is that a beloved and respected poet, distraught about government corruption, threw himself into the sea in protest. The members of his community were so impressed by his devotion to right, that they threw tasty rice bundles (called "zhongzi") into the water so the monsters of the sea would eat the zhongzi instead of the poet. The poet died, but to this day everyone eats zhongzi on Dragon Boat Festival.

Back to my travel agent's email which offered more than a traditional celebration. Specifically, the advertisement reads:

What to expect on this trip? Eating zhongzi, playing volleyball and flying kite on beach, Sunshine, Beer, Experiencing fisher's lifestyle, barbecue dinner, windmill, Holland style wooden house or camping, bonfire, party, and randomly romantic.

That some serious celebration.

Putting the China in KFC

Before I begin this story, a disclaimer: This is not my story. I was not present, and I can not possibly tell it with the hilarity of the original protagonist, who related it to me. But I do have his permission to post it on the blog. And, while the setting and the exact dialog are unique, this conversation plays out in various forms in various situations hundreds of times a day in China. It's one of the reasons ex-pats, even those who know and love China and know this type of interaction is coming and even understand the cultural background, still occasionally end up tearing our hair out and screaming that we hate this place. So, without further ado...

Two white men walk into a Kentucky Fried Chicken in Beijing. The first one says to the girl at the counter, "We'd like some chicken in a bucket." The counter girl replies, in English, "Oh, we don't do that." The following conversation ensues.

American guy 1, thinking she didn't understand: Oh, all we want is some chicken, in one of those buckets.

Counter girl, still in English: We don't do that.

American 1: But, there's chicken in the bucket right here in this picture on the menu. And on the sign up there. And I can see the buckets right there on the shelf.

Counter girl: I'm sorry, we don't have chicken in a bucket.

American 1, now frustrated, launching into Chinese: Listen, you might think I'm just a big dumb foreigner, but I know you serve chicken in a bucket. You can't tell me you don't have chicken, in the bucket, because I can see you have the buckets. Don't make fun of me and lie to me... (and on this way for several minutes, which, I will note, is an impressively long time to rant and rave in a foreign language, particularly one as difficult as Chinese)

American 2, interrupting American 1: Wait. That's enough.

American 2, to the Counter Girl, in English: Ok. How about this. We would like 20 pieces of chicken. Can you do that?

Counter Girl: Sure, we can do that. Would you like that in a bucket?

I promise not to complain about the 13-1/2 hour flight to DC

My ayi, the incredible, cheerful Xiao Ping, mentioned she would be taking some time off over Chinese New Year. She, like most of the Chinese population, will return by train to her home province. Her home happens to be Anhui, one of the poorest provinces in China.

I asked her how long the ride would take, and she responded:

It's not too long. I'll get on the train at night and in the morning I'll be almost there. It's only 17 hours. It will be even better if I can get a seat instead of standing room.

It's when I get there that it gets harder. From the train I have to take a bus, then when I get near my home I have to take a boat across a small river. The river isn't wide, but sometimes you have to wait half a day for a boat to come.